Turkish Star Wars final show tonight!

The Grand Illusion hosts the infamous Turkish Star Wars tonight!

Turkish SW PosterThere aren’t words…

I watched this film and for ninety minutes I was dumbfounded and I’m still not sure what the hell it’s about.  In honor of the recent success of The Force Awakens the Grand Illusion has been screening Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (The Man Who Saved the World) or as it’s known more commonly Turkish Star Wars.  Not because it has anything to do whatsoever with the legendary sci-fi epic, but because director Cetin Inanc straight up uses ample amounts of footage from A New Hope as the backdrop for his “exciting” space battles.  Basically what it amounts to is two actors delivering their lines in front of a film screen playing footage of Star Wars whilst they duck and dive along with their dialogue.

Not only that, but the soundtrack is a compilation of themes from a variety of films including Raiders of the Lost Ark, Flash Gordon, Battlestar Galactica, and even Planet of the Apes. There are many others that I know I recognized but just couldn’t place.  You have to admit, the use of the Raiders theme music in a couple of scenes is just fun.

Turkish SW1It’s fucking ridiculous.  But wait, it gets better.

The two leads end up on a planet that is a wasteland occupied by a weird race of humans and a wide variety of bad guys that look like a mix of monsters from the Power Rangers and low budget Yo Gabba Gabba.  Along the way they fantasize about running into a race of women that would rule the planet and that they could share champagne with.  One of them even has a special whistle that ladies can’t resist, but the guy fucks that up and ends up calling a cavalry of skeleton warriors on horseback whose asses they have to kick. Our heroes end up in like, 20 different fights with these baddies which mainly consist of jumping on off-screen trampolines and flying through the air with powerful kicks and punches, beheading or tearing off limbs as they go.

I would love to create a drinking game wherein participants have to drink each time a character flies through the air.  You would be fucked up by the forty minute mark.  Keith Richards couldn’t make it through that shit.

Drink Bitches!

Drink Bitches!

More charming nonsense happens and more costumed baddies get their asses handed to them.  There are mummies, zombies, robots, mole people, golden ninjas,… fuck I’m probably forgetting someone in there.  There’s a badass training montage scene full of rock punching and the obligatory leaping.  Oh, and there’s a cantina scene that is a full on rip off of Star Wars – it’s great.

Turkish SW2

Everybody Everybody!!!

For some, this is ninety minutes of pure magic, charm and silliness, for others it’s ninety minutes of your life that you’ll never get back.  Someday you may be caught up to your ass in quicksand and help is ninety minutes away and you’ll wish you hadn’t watched Turkish Star Wars, or maybe you’ll spend the remainder of your life waxing on one of the craziest sci-fi imports ever made.

The Grand Illusion has screened this twice already to sold out houses so they’ve added this one last showing tonight at 7pm.  Semih Tareen, film composer with credits including Turkish cult cinema, will introduce this screening.  If you’re even considering going I can’t recommend it enough.  I wish they would show this thing every other month just so that people can take in the insanity that is Turkish Star Wars.

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